Your face is a jimmy john
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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