Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
