How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
A bitchslap is in order.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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