Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize
