I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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