repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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