Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.

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(858): View more from California

There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

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(443): View more from Maryland

told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...

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(301): View more from Maryland

I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

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(503): View more from Oregon

drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

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(817): View more from Texas

Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.

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(661): View more from California

reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?

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