My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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