I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
