I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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