Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
