He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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