white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
