Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
