my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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