Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
