I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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