Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Drunk is not a location!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
