I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
