Heybabeimwearingurpanties
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
