Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
