so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You dont lie about slip and slides
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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