please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
