Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
