I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
