do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize