the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
