New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
