the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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