We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
