i just wanna soil my oats bro
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
