I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
