I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
