my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
