did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
