I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
