Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
