Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
