i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
