'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
