ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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