hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
