You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
