Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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