i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
