Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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