We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
