Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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