garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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