My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
