My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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