Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
