The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
