Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
