my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
