Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
