Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
