just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
