Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
