curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
