we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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