I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
