another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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