I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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