woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize